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Study: coercive control can continue after divorce

January 6, 2019

“I Was Naive in Thinking: ‘I Divorced This Man, He Is Out of My Life’.” That is the title of a study which identified 9 different ways a spouse might continue to control the other spouse after divorce.

The most common themes to emerge from the narratives were, in order of prevalence, as follows:

  • Using the Children;
  • Using Threats, Harassment, and Intimidation;
  • Emotional Abuse;
  • Economic Abuse;
  • “Stuff to Try to Hurt Me”;
  • Disrupting Her Relationships With the Children;
  • Using the System; and
  • Physical Violence.

The findings are not surprising to professionals who work with victims of domestic violence (coercive control).

Quick escape to Google.com

The study found that “many women” simply give up everything just to get out. For some people, men and women, “walking away” is a reasonable option, and even a best option in some cases. For people ready to stand up for themselves, and who are not willing to simply walk away, obtaining help in court is possible if the judge is aware of the nature and persistence of coercive control. For people thinking about standing up for themselves, help can be obtained from any domestic violence agency, mental health professionals, and informed lawyers. Religious leaders, teachers, coaches, employers, friends, may or may not have awareness of the persistent dynamics of domestic violence.

“I Was Naive in Thinking, ‘I Divorced This Man, He Is Out of My Life’”: A Qualitative Exploration of Post-Separation Power and Control Tactics Experienced by Women
Michelle L. Toews, Autumn M. Bermea
Journal of Interpersonal Violence, Vol 32, Issue 14, 2017
First Published June 18, 2015

Quick escape to Google.com

Abstract
The purpose of this study was to explore women’s perceptions of the power and control tactics used by their former husbands post-separation. A total of 22 in-depth interviews with divorced mothers who reported male-initiated partner abuse (psychological and/or physical) during and/or after their marriages were analyzed. The most common themes to emerge from the narratives were, in order of prevalence, as follows: Using the Children; Using Threats, Harassment, and Intimidation; Emotional Abuse; Economic Abuse; “Stuff to Try to Hurt Me”; Disrupting Her Relationships With the Children; Using the System; and Physical Violence. We also found that the violent and coercive behaviors men used during the marriage continued to influence the women’s perceptions of the power and control their former husbands had over them post-separation. As a result, many of the women described how they gave up everything just to get out of their abusive marriages.

Filed Under: Bar News, Domestic Violence

Court sees through bully’s story, wife’s slap appropriate

January 6, 2019

An abuser went too far and his wife slapped him, so he sought a restraining order. The court said no, her slap was an instinctive reaction to discovering his long-term lying about not having an affair.

In Fischer vs. Fischer, a California case, the wife caught the husband having an affair. He apologized a “million times” telling her it was over and that it had been a short term thing. She forgave him and they tried to work things out, and went to marital therapy. Months later, the wife saw his phone ringing and saw a picture of his mistress. She looked at the phone and saw numerous text messages indicating they not only were still having an affair, but had been doing so for a long time. As she was discovering the depth of his deception, he came into the room, hovered a foot from her face and snatched the phone from her hand. When he demanded to know what she was doing, she swore at him and slapped him.

Quick escape to Google.com

The husband took the offensive and filed for protection order seeking the court’s protection from his abusive wife, and intense custody litigation ensued. At trial, the judge found that the wife’s actions were not an intentional assault, rather an instinctive, in the heat of the moment act, and refused to grant the husband’s request for a restraining order, and also refused to grant the husband’s request that the wife undergo a parenting fitness evaluation. The husband appealed and lost again.

When the wife initially caught him having an affair, he took the initiative then too, filing for divorce. But as is often the case, she begged him not to leave and they reconciled.

Of course there was more to the story, as is usually the situation in these types of cases. The wife provided evidence of a pattern of coercive control by the husband. He was much larger than her, and he constantly got angry and pushed her, spat on her, threw water on her, grabbed her and moved her around, and tossed her across the bed.

Quick escape to Google.com

DV and patterns of coercive control are driven by a person’s fundamental way of solving all problems with coercive behaviors. Aggressive tactics in litigation can be an indicator confirming a person’s use of coercive control. In this case, the husband took the unusual step of filing an appeal. He had requested a five-year restraining order based on the one incident of the wife slapping him. Both the trial court and the court of appeals saw through his aggression and denied his requests.

Washington’s law is similar. At a domestic violence protection order hearing, the court “may” grant an order, or not. Also, an assault must be an intentional act.

The full opinion from the appellate court can be accessed here.

Filed Under: Domestic Violence

Coercive control and emotional abuse illegal in U.K., France, Ireland –and Clallam?

January 2, 2019

Ireland joined the United Kingdom and France extending the definition of domestic violence to include emotional abuse and coercive control. The definitions in these countries expand the basis for a protection order and criminalize coercive control. Washington State law is not quite as clear, but for non-criminal cases is consistent with these European jurisdictions. Understanding coercive control, or more importantly what drives the controlling behavior, and applying protections by judicial officers in rural communities is not easy.

On January 1, 2019, Ireland enacted the Domestic Violence Act 2018, http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/2018/act/6/enacted/en/html.

Quick escape to Google.com

Part 2 of the act enumerates a list of factors courts “shall have regard to”. Beyond the usual factors, such as fear for personal safety, history of violence, access to weapons, and substance abuse, they include:

  • “any evidence of deterioration in the physical, psychological or emotional welfare of the applicant or a dependent person which is caused directly by fear of the behaviour of the respondent;”
  • “whether the applicant is economically dependent on the respondent;”
  • “the applicant’s perception of the risk to his or her own safety or welfare due to the behaviour of the respondent;”
  • “any recent separation between the applicant and the respondent;”
  • “any destruction or damage caused by the respondent to” the petitioner’s personal property or residence;”

The French Parliament “adopted Law 2010-769, of July 9, 2010, on Violence Against Women, Violence Between Spouses, and the Effects of These Types of Violence on Children * * * [which] contains several criminal provisions aimed at reinforcing the fight against familial violence, including psychological violence.” http://www.loc.gov/law/foreign-news/article/france-law-on-violence-against-women/.

In England, the offence of controlling or coercive behavior is defined in Section 76(1) of the Serious Crime Act 2015:

“A person (A) commits an offence if–
(a) A repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour towards another person (B) that is controlling or coercive,
(b) at the time of the behaviour, A and B are personally connected,
(c) the behaviour has a serious effect on B, and
(d) A knows or ought to know that the behaivour will have a serious effect on B.”

Although not a law, a cross-government definition of domestic violence and abuse is provided in a Statutory Guidance Framework for Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or Family Relationship, by the Home Office:

“Controlling behaviour is: a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacties for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour.

“Coercive behaviour is: a continuing act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.”

Quick escape to Google.com

In 2014, the European Union Agency for Fundamental rights (FRA) conducted a survey of violence against women by interviewing 42,000 women in EU member countries. Consistent with studies in other countries, violence against women is common.

“What emerges is a picture of extensive abuse that affects many women’s lives, but is systematically underreported to the authorities.”


FRA survey, at page 3.

“One in three women (32%) has experienced psychologically abusive behaviour by an intimate partner either by her current partner or previous partner. This includes behaviour such as belittling or humiliating the respondent in public or private; forbidding her to leave the house or locking her up; making her watch pornographic material against your wishes; scaring or intimidating her on purpose; and threatening her with violence were threatening to hurt someone else the respondent cares about.”

“Overall, 43% of women have experienced some form of psychological violence by an intimate partner, which includes other forms of abuse alongside psychologically abusive behavior. This may include psychologically abusive behavior and other forms of psychological violence such as controlling behavior (for example trying to keep the respondent from seeing her friends or visiting her family or relatives), economic violence (such as forbidding a woman to work outside the home) and blackmail.”

FRA survey at 71, from Main Findings of Psychological Partner Violence
Quick escape to Google.com

The FRA survey broke down the results by country.

“In [the FRA] survey on violence against women, almost a third of Irish women (31%) said they had experienced psychological abuse by a partner. A further 23% of respondents said they had experienced controlling behavior, 24% said they had experienced abusive behavior, and 12% said they had experienced stalking (including online stalking).”

https://www.cnn.com/2019/01/02/health/ireland-coercive-control-domestic-abuse-intl/index.html

In Washington State (and presumably all U.S. states) coercive control behaviors are not a crime. However, the law, and the Washington Courts’ Domestic Violence Bench Guide for Judicial Officers (revised 2015), make it clear that protection orders can and should be issued based on this type of behavior. The Bench Guide defines domestic violence conduct in terms of both purely legal and also behavioral conduct. Behavioral domestic violence is defined as involving a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion. Bench Guide at 2-4.

“Using both the Washington behavioral and legal definitions of DV is critical for making the complex decisions facing judicial officers hearing these cases in criminal, family law, juvenile, dependency, or protection order courts.” Bench Guide at 2-5.

In rural Clallam County, it’s a mixed bag as far as judges being able to see coercive behaviors and being able or willing to do something about them. Judge Brent Basden, with a decade of experience in the family and dependency courts, has developed a keen sense for consistently sorting out false from true claims and being able to respectfully impose reasonable boundaries, structure and compassionate consequences in most cases. Judge Erik Rohrer has demonstrated difficulty seeing coercive behavior, doing anything about it, and in at least one case getting it backward by supporting coercive behavior and punishing the victim. Judge Brian Coughenour has demonstrated a reasonable ability to see coercive behavior, but not an ability to do anything about it, as demonstrated in a recent 4-day divorce trial. In that case, Judge Coughenour ruled the father had engaged in a pattern of domestic violence. Indeed the mother and her witnesses had proven substantial evidence of having suffered a decade of virtually all forms of physical abuse and coercively controlling behavior directed at her, in front of the children, and/or to the children. She testified that she continued to fear her husband and requested a protection order. However, Judge Coughenour declined to issue any protection order and granted the untreated father a substantial amount of parenting time.

Quick escape to Google.com

Coercive control is a relatively new concept for the legal community, and it can be difficult for people to recognize. Most people, judges or not, need some education to learn how and what coercive control is, how it differs from traditional notions of domestic violence, how common the behavior patterns are, what are the associated personality and behavior patterns, what the patterns look like in practice, what the legal system can do to minimize the behaviors and protect victims, and importantly, its devastating long term psychological and somatic effects on victims and children.

By Mark Baumann, J.D.
Port Angeles, Washington

Please note: this article represents the opinion of Mark Baumann only. Please contact the editor if you would like to submit your own opinion article.

Filed Under: Bar News, Domestic Violence, Family Law, High Conflict

CLE: Domestic Violence: A View from the Bench -September 7

September 5, 2018

The Clallam County Bar Association will host a CLE: ‘Domestic Violence: A View from the Bench’ by Kitsap County District Court Judge James Riehl, Ret. Noon-1:00 pm at Kokopelli Grill, Friday, September 7th. Approved for 1 CLE General Credit. Judge Riehl regularly presents for the National Institute for Trial Advocacy (NITA).

Filed Under: Bar Lunch, Bar News, CLE, Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Pro Bono Clinic- June 23, 2017

June 22, 2017

The Law Office of Mark Baumann is hosting a domestic violence legal clinic, starting tomorrow, June 23, 2017 through December 31, 2017. They are attempting to reach out to domestic violence victims and help them to achieve safety and stability through guiding them with free counsel and legal paperwork drafting for domestic violence protection orders. They encourage eligible clients to contact  them, at 360.504.0409,  between the hours of 10:00 A.M. and 12:00 P.M. on Mondays or 2:00 P.M. and 4:00 P.M on Friday.

In addition, this clinic will be used as a way to collect research for BELARI. The goal of BELARI is to help improve the legal system by researching and applying interdisciplinary concepts to legal counseling and representation. BELARI occasionally conducts research projects, sometimes in conjunction with pro bono clinics. For more information regarding BELARI visit http://markbaumann.com/belari/.

Filed Under: Bar News, Domestic Violence, High Conflict, Pro Bono Events

Trauma Informed Sexual Assault Investigation Training

October 20, 2016

“Sexual Assault is one of the most complex crimes in our society and the activism and outrage about sexual assault has never been higher.  This training will help ensure that individuals providing service to survivors understand trauma and can utilize approaches and skills to enhance response, investigations, and prosecutions.”-Chief Thomas R. Tremblay (Ret)

Where: Red Cedar Hall, 1033 Old Blyn Hwy, Sequim, WA 98382                                                                                      When: October 26th-27th, 2016 from 8:30am-4:30pm

Brought to you by the Advocacy Programs of Clallam and Jefferson County

To register please Click Here 

For any questions please contact Forks Abuse Program: 81 2nd Ave/PO Box 1775, Forks WA 98331. (360)374-6411, forksabuseprogram.org

S’Klallam Social & Community Services-Forks Abuse Program-Quileute New Beginnings-Healthy Families-Lower Elwha Family Advocacy-Dove House-Makah DV & SA-Hoh Tribe Family Services

Filed Under: Client Counseling, Domestic Violence, Family Law, Mental health

Angeles Mediation Pro Bono Domestic Violence Mediation Project

June 21, 2011

Announcement:
Angeles Mediation Pro Bono Domestic Violence Mediation Project

In 2011-2012, Mark Baumann, JD, Rachel Hardies, MA, and Angeles Mediation, will be operating a pro bono Domestic Violence Mediation Project to help low income families who have had allegations or a history of domestic violence resolve conflict through mediation. Domestic violence may involve physical and/or emotional abuse, and/or may be perceived as a “high conflict” case. These are difficult cases that require special handling and attention, particularly to both parties needs and safety.

The interdisciplinary DV Mediation Project is an access to justice oriented project, offering people of modest means an alternative to litigation that may also offer a more effective method of managing entrenched conflict patterns. Part of the purpose of the project is to develop and report on effective mediation techniques for domestic violence situations.

The DV Mediation Project encourages attorney and advocate participation and the development of safety plans. Attorneys and advocates interested in participating in the Project may contact Mark Baumann or Nancy Rohde, and are encouraged to attend the Quileute Tribe’s unique DV training opportunity by the Southwest Center for Law and Policy in La Push on June 28 and 29. (This training is free and offers CLE credit. For more information see https://clallamcountybar.com/2011/06/03/842/)

Referrals to the DV Mediation Project will only be accepted from professionals, including lawyers, therapists and advocates. Parties interested in mediation services should ask professionals they are working with for a referral, and/or call Healthy Families for advocate and safety planning services in this or any DV situation. If you are interesting in contributing to the project, as a volunteer mediator, advocate, advisor, counselor, educator, concept developer, or otherwise, please call for more information.

Mark Baumann
360-452-8688

Rachel Hardies
360-670-2336

Healthy Families, 360-452-2381

Filed Under: Alternative Dispute Resolution, Bar News, Domestic Violence, Family Law, Mediation, Pro Bono Events

DV Training: By the Quileute New Beginnings program

June 3, 2011

The Quileute Tribe New Beginning’s program invites you to attend the Southwest Center for Law and Policy’s Domestic Violence and Teen Intimate Partner & Sexual Violence Training at the Quileute tribal office, west wing, 90 Main Street, La Push, WA on June 28th and 29th, 2011.

This trainings is FREE, offers CLE credit and is open to anyone (breakfast & lunch provided). [Read more…] about DV Training: By the Quileute New Beginnings program

Filed Under: Bar News, CLE, Domestic Violence, Family Law, Pro Bono Events

Angeles Mediation offers family law mediation services

January 3, 2010

Angeles Mediation helps people resolve their cases without having to go to court. Their mediators are experienced lawyers who can keep costs down. Angeles Mediation handles family law cases like parenting plans, child support, divorce, dividing up property, and relocation (when one person wants to move away). Domestic violence cases can also be addressed in mediation. For mediation to work, everyone has to want to participate.

Mediation is a process where the mediator helps guide the parties to reach an agreement in their case. Lawyer don’t have to be involved but they can be as much or as little as anyone wants. Mediation allows people to make their own choice about how things get decided, rather than taking their personal problems to court for a judge to tell people how they are going to live. You can also keep your personal information out the the public court file.

Mediation can be started at the very beginning, before anything is filed in court. It can also start shortly after someone files in court or after the court process has been going on for a while.

Because an experienced lawyer is involved, Angeles Mediation makes sure everyone is treated fair. If you need papers for court, they can help get them written up.

Angeles Mediation is based in Port Angeles, and serves Sequim, Forks, Port Townsend, Silverdale, Bremerton, and Clallam, Jefferson and Kitsap counties. Mediation can be done in person or remotely by video and/or phone.

You can find more information at Angeles Mediation’s website or by calling 360-452-8689.

Filed Under: Bar News, Domestic Violence, Family Law, High Conflict, Legal Resources, Local resources, Mediation, Parenting, Practice areas

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Brian Parker terminated from position of Clallam County Family Court Commissioner – effective immediately

February 11, 2026

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Courthouse Facilitator position vacant until March 1 2026

January 27, 2026

The Clallam County Courthouse Facilitator position is currently vacant. A new Facilitator will begin offering help with filling out court forms on March 1, 2026. Temporary help In the meantime, … [Read More...] about Courthouse Facilitator position vacant until March 1 2026

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Maria Malkasian is the new Courthouse Facilitator

May 15, 2025

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