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Positive discipline techniques – The Peace Discipline model is based on quality research

How do you discipline children without spanking or even yelling at them? The trick is to take a broad-based approach that incorporates several techniques. One of the problems to finding the right techniques has been that low quality research studies have led to suggestions which don’t work, or even backfire. Karen Quail, a teacher, school counselor, and researcher in South Africa dug into the problem and after figuring it out over a 5-year study, she developed a list of easy to implement techniques, and has made them available on her Peace Discipline website.

One example of a misunderstanding of parenting techniques is time-out and time-in. Highly respected researcher Dan Siegel promoted the idea of time-in (not isolating children because that can be a harsh rejection). Many people immediately assumed he meant that time-out was a bad idea. However, research shows that both methods are effective, if used in the right way, and at the right times.

South Africa has had a long history of harsh parenting, and Karen Quail was working on helping her country learn to take a new approach. As she was teaching, parents kept asking her, “Well, what do I do if I can’t hit them or yell at them?” She had some instinctual ideas, but she wanted to know what research recommended so she could give good advice. After she looked at lots of research studies and their recommendations, she realized that many of them contradicted each other, and often recommended techniques which seemed instinctively wrong to her. When she looked further, she realized many of the studies were not done properly and didn’t qualify as reliable science.

Massive research study on effective parenting discipline techniques

So to address the problem of poor science, she set out to do some good research science. She started by reading the abstracts (research summary) of over 35,000 research studies. (Yeah, that’s a lot.) From there, she tossed out studies that used ineffective research methods, and focused on meta-studies, which are research studies which look at many other studies. She eventually selected over 200 meta-studies to examine, and she compared all their findings, and organized what she was seeing. This took her five years! The result of her work is amazing. She was able to sort out a fairly small list of what she calls nonviolent parenting techniques which are all solidly supported by research. She calls the list a Peace Discipline Toolkit.

When she was done, she started to work on a book. But then she realized the purpose of her life’s work is to help parents, so she decided to make her Toolkit available for free on the internet. In addition, she offers free and quick YouTube videos. For parents who want a little more guidance, she offers online parenting classes at a very reasonable price. While South Africa is in a different Time zone, she offers them in the warm South African evenings so people in the U.S. can join them in the morning on the west coast and middle America, and around the lunch hour on the east coast.

Resources

You can find a summary of her research in the Child Discipline article on Wikipedia.

You can find her Toolkit on Peace Discipline.

Karen has a YouTube channel with a series of brief and pointed talks about how to implement Peace Discipline.

You can read her research study (advanced level reading), and a summary of her findings on each nonviolent discipline tool, which is freely available at Research (peacediscipline.com).

Peace Discipline techniques are consistent with the SNACCMS activities concept for helping children develop optimal neural growth, and with attachment informed parenting techniques.

ClallamCountyBar.com highly recommends Peace Discipline to all parents.

Karen Quail

Karen lives in Cape Town, South Africa, and has a background as a school counsellor and teacher. She now works independently, coaching and running workshops on non-violent discipline and related topics. 

Karen’s research on non-violent discipline skills was a part of her psychology masters at the University of Cape Town.

Quail, K. R., & Ward, C. L. (2020). Nonviolent Discipline Options for Caregivers and Teachers: A Systematic Overview of the Evidence. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, Copyright © 2020. DOI: 10.1177/1524838020967340. It is available (at a cost) at sagepub.com/journals, and Karen has made it available at no cost at https://www.peacediscipline.com/research.html.

Teaching About ACEs at Peninsula College: A Clallam Reslience Project community meeting

On April 6th, 2021 at 10am, The Clallam Resilience Project will convene via zoom for their monthly Community Meeting. This month will feature a presentation by Dr. Allen Lapin, a retired MD and current instructor in the Addiction Studies program, and Anna King, the director the Early Childhood Education Department. The two instructors will present on how they incorporate teaching about Adverse Childhood Experiences into their curriculum in order to prepare their students to support future clients.

Session details

Date: April 6, 2021
Time: 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. (PST)
Price: Free
Host/Facilitator: Anna King and Dr. Allen Lapin
Sponsors: Clallam Resilience Project and Clallam County United Way
CLE: Continuing education credit is not provided, but may be available from your respective licencing agency.
Zoom Meeting login: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89928194489?pwd=Nmx4NkZ2eVpZbldNYk9tY2k4YUJNZz09
Meeting ID: 899 2819 4489
Passcode: HOPE

Presenters

Anna King is the Early Childhood Education Program Coordinator and Faculty for Peninsula College. Prior to working at the college Anna worked for OlyCAP in the Early Childhood Services programs. She is passionate about children having accesses to quality education programs.

Dr. Allen Lapin graduated from the University of Illinois College of Medicine in Chicago. He completed his residency at LA County -USC Medical Center, then served active-duty in the US Army Medical Corps for two years. He worked at the San Mateo County Medical Center for 29 years. He and his wife have now lived in Port Angeles for 21 years, and he serves as part-time faculty at Peninsula College, teaching about Addiction Studies in the Medical Assisting Department.

The Clallam Resilience Project Community Meetings take place the first Tuesday of every month and are open to the public. Meetings are posted at Meetings | Clallam Resilience Project (unitedwayclallam.org)

Questions about the event can be directed to: [email protected]

Washington’s Minor Guardianship Court forms

Washington State’s new Uniform Guardianship Act replaces the nonparent custody laws, and the official state forms are now available. The forms are currently available on the Washington Court’s List of All Forms page, just look for the Guardianship forms, then the minor guardianship forms, or clikc below. Click here for an article describing the minor guardianship law.

Click here for Washington Courts Minor Guardianship forms

If you go to the “List of All Forms page, look for the “Minor Guardianship” link on the page:

RCW 26.10, which governs third party custody, non-parent, and some grandparent rights laws, are being replaced by RCW 11.130, the new Uniform Guardianship Act. The new laws go into effect on January 21, 2021.

The new law is complicated. ClallamCountyBar.com recommends people interested in seeking the court’s help under this law should contact the Clallam County Facilitator, or consult with an attorney.

CLE: Overview of the new minor guardianship law

Credits: 1.5 Credits Pending
Date: DECEMBER 19, 2020
Time: 10:30am – Noon
Price: Free, suggested $35 donation to CJCPL
Zoom Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_h3RS4PPeT4GfOmb2AnCYfQ

Clallam-Jefferson County Pro Bono Lawyers is sponsoring this CLE designed to provide an overview of the new minor guardianship statute that goes into effect on January 1, 2021. This law replaces the current non-parental custody statute and is quite different in many respects. Non-attorneys who are interested in being appointed as guardians ad litem or court visitors are also encouraged to attend. The presentation will also include valuable information on how the transitions from non-parental custodies to minor guardianships will be handled in Jefferson and Clallam County Clerk’s Offices and Superior Courts.

This CLE is free of cost, though participants will be encouraged to make a $35 donation to the Clallam-Jefferson County Pro Bono Lawyers.

Presenters include Commissioner Brandon Mack of Clallam County Superior Court, and Lorraine Rimson of Kurlin & Rimson Law Offices, PLLC, and Ruth Gordon, Jefferson County Clerk of Superior Court.

CLE: Secondary trauma and self care

Secondary Trauma & Self Care, a CLE by the Clallam Resilience Project.

Wed, Nov 4th, 9:00-11:00am
Free
This training will explain Secondary Traumatic Stress, Compassion
Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma. Participants will be able to
recognize warning signs and personal triggers, understand the
importance of self-care, and develop a personal self-care plan.

Click here to register:
https://centene.zoom.us/meeting/register/tJwofuCvrT4iGNGSAMz0yuxUuYlcF6ekeBKS

This is the last of the four resilience trainings by the Clallam Resilience Project for 2020.

The Clallam Resilience Project is a service of the United Way of Clallam County. The ACEs Study session is the first of four trainings in September, October, and November.

CLE: Fostering resiliency in children by Clallam Resilience Project

Resiliency
Wed, Oct 21, 9:00-11:00am
Free
This training provides information on how to foster resilience in
children. It looks at factors such as the human adaptive process,
core protective systems, and ways to cope with trauma. The
training ends with a discussion around how caregivers can help
their children feel safe, capable and loveable.

Click this link to register:
https://centene.zoom.us/meeting/register/tJwpduitqzwvHNStZ_PJtwF2H_8LlN8cuLZf

The Clallam Resilience Project is a service of the United Way of Clallam County. The ACEs Study session is the first of four trainings in September, October, and November.

Upcoming CLE’s by the Clallam Resilience Project

Secondary Trauma & Self Care
Wed, Nov 4th, 9:00-11:00am
Free
This training will explain Secondary Traumatic Stress, Compassion
Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma. Participants will be able to
recognize warning signs and personal triggers, understand the
importance of self-care, and develop a personal self-care plan.

CLE: Trauma 101 by Clallam Resilience Project

Wed, Oct 7, 9:00-11:00am
Free
This training defines trauma, and explores the impact of trauma on
an individual. It will heighten the professional’s awareness of client
cues so they will know what to expect and how to respond when
someone experiences trauma triggers.

Click this link to register:
https://centene.zoom.us/meeting/register/tJcucu6opzMsHtaumzZueLcc1huph_cVYCIy

The Clallam Resilience Project is a service of the United Way of Clallam County. The Trauma 101 session is the second of four trainings in September, October, and November.

Upcoming CLE’s by the Clallam Resilience Project

Resiliency
Wed, Oct 21, 9:00-11:00am
Free
This training provides information on how to foster resilience in
children. It looks at factors such as the human adaptive process,
core protective systems, and ways to cope with trauma. The
training ends with a discussion around how caregivers can help
their children feel safe, capable and loveable.

Secondary Trauma & Self Care
Wed, Nov 4th, 9:00-11:00am
Free
This training will explain Secondary Traumatic Stress, Compassion
Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma. Participants will be able to
recognize warning signs and personal triggers, understand the
importance of self-care, and develop a personal self-care plan.

CLE: Findings from the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study

If you haven’t been introduced to the ACEs study, tomorrow is a free opportunity, and it will change your life. Now a world famous study, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study found clear and significant negative and life-long impacts on both mental and physical health. The Clallam Resilience Project is offering this free two-hour training at 9:00 a.m. on Wednesday, September 23, 2020.

The ACES study findings are truly remarkable. Just Google ACEs study for more information.

Register here for the free ACEs Zoom session: https://centene.zoom.us/meeting/register/tJEvcu-upzkvGdYvQqwFrhK1syq9DH_F04Ul

The Clallam Resilience Project is a service of the United Way of Clallam County. The ACEs Study session is the first of four trainings in September, October, and November.

Workshop Description: This training explains the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study and identifies all 10 ACEs. All childhood experiences have an impact on people as they mature. This training explores the long term effects that adverse childhood experiences have on physical and mental health. Preventative measures, resiliency, and how to address the needs of children with a high ACEs score are all discussed.

Time: Sep 23, 2020 09:00 AM in Pacific Time (US and Canada)

Additional workshops

Trauma 101, from 9-11 am on Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Resiliency, from 9-11 am on Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Secondary Trauma and Self Care, from 9-11 am on Wednesday, November 4, 2020

SNACCMS: build “moral fiber” with enhanced extracurricular activities

SNACCMS stands for Sports, Nature, Arts, Culture, Clubs, Music, and Spirituality. These are activities for children which help them build neural networks with strong connections to the brain’s frontal lobes.

SNACCMS is an expanded version of “extracurricular activities”, and is intended to help parents thing more creatively about activities for their kids. Baseball, basketball, and soccer are all excellent activities, but so is any kind of art, music, organized clubs, spiritual or religious activities, birding, and tracking down wild blueberries in the Olympic mountains.

Staying out of trouble and avoiding drugs are well-known outcomes from SNACCMS type activities. Even better, there is a wide body of research confirming that kids who are involved with SNACCMS can learn to:

  1. Regulate their emotions,
  2. Enhance their cognitive thinking skills (critical thinking),
  3. Develop more attuned empathy and perspective taking,
  4. Improve their communication skills,
  5. Learn to make connections between things (such as nature and food sources),
  6. Become comfortable with taking on challenges, and
  7. Engage in self-directed learning.

(All of these skills are described by Ellen Galinsky in her book Mind in the Making: The seven essential skills every child needs.)

But there’s a trick to making SNACCMS work well for kids: the activities must be positive focused, promote skill building, allow children to learn to make decisions for themselves and experience the consequences in a safe and supportive environment, support positive interactions between peers, and involve adults modeling healthy behaviors.

Some of the relevant research studies include:

  • Protective factors for youth considered at risk of criminal behaviour: Does participation in extracurricular activities help?, Burton, J. M., & Marshal, L. A. (2005), Criminal Behaviour and Mental Health, 15, 46-64.
  • A systematic review of the impact of physical activity programmes on social and emotional well-being in at-risk youth, Lubans, D., Plotnikoff, R., Lubans N. (2012), Child and Adolescent Mental Health, 17:1, 2-13.
  • The Sports Challenge International Programme for identified ‘at risk’ children and adolescents: A Singapore study, Tester, G., Watins, G., Rouse, I, (1999), Asia Pacific Journal of Public Health, 11:1, 34-38.
  • Effects of participation in a martial arts–based antibullying program in elementary schools, Twemlow, S.W., Biggs, B.K., Nelson, T.D., Vernberg, E.M., Fonagy, P., Twemlow S.W. (2008), Psychology in the Schools, 45:10, 947-959.
  • Executive functions predict the success of top-soccer players, Vestberg, T., Gustafson, R., Maurex, L., Ingvar, M., Petrovic, P. (2012), PloS ONE, 7:4, 1-4.

SNACCMS was developed by Mark Baumann, J.D., to help his clients, particularly those involved in high conflict family law cases. Often, those cases involve one or more adults causing attachment-harm, and the courts are not well organized to help. Thus, it is up to the parents to cause attachment-healing, and SNACCMS are one of the most powerful ways to help. Clallam County SNACCMS opportunities are available at CCBA.com’s SNACCMS page. More information about SNACCMS from Mark Baumann is available here.

First Teacher Zoom activity October 12 2020: Wild bird rescue stories (and goldfinches)

On October 12, 2020, at 10:00 a.m., Wild Birds Unlimited owner Christie Lassen will talk about wild bird rescue with volunteers at the Discovery Bay Wild Rescue program. For more parenting activities and skill building programs, visit the ClallamCountyBar.com Parenting Info page.

Two American goldfinches are in the picture above. Did you know the American goldfinch is the official state bird of Washington.

The goldfinch is a delicate little bird with a yellow body and black wings, and although it eventually became the official state bird, many other birds were considered for the title. In 1928, legislators let school children select the state bird and the meadowlark won hands-down. It was a nice choice but seven other states already had chosen the same bird. Another vote was taken in 1931 by the Washington Federation of Women’s Clubs. Many birds were nominated, but the goldfinch won handily over the tanager, song sparrow, junco and pileated woodpecker. Now there were two state birds and the Legislature decided to leave the final choice to school children. In 1951, children voted for the goldfinch and the Legislature made it unanimous.

http://leg.wa.gov/Symbols/pages/default.aspx

Editor’s note: Webster, we have a problem. The Washington State Legisture web page, which is quoted above, lists the name of the state bird as Willow Goldfinch, which seems to be a mistake. A field guide to western birds, by Roger Tory Peterson, second edition, 1941, Houghton, Mifflin Company, identifies it as the American goldfinch, or common goldfinch, with the scientific name of spinus tristis. In Ted Floyd’s book, Smithsonian field guide to the birds of North America, Collins publishing (2008), Ted also describes the American goldfinch, but lists its scientific name as carduelis tristis. Both books identify the lesser goldfinch as having more black, and an all black cap on its head and a black back, where the American goldfinch has a all yellow or small black patch on its head and a yellow back. (Please drop us a note if you know why there is a difference in names.)

Please join and share your questions and experiences, and invite your children to ask questions and get involved). A Zoom link will be available at First Teacher’s Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/FirstTeacherPMF.

First Teacher online parent-child Zoom activities are free to parents and children in Port Angeles, Sequim, Clallam Bay, Neah Bay, Forks, and anywhere in Clallam County. These activities will offered weekly during the coronavirus times. Check back for upcoming sessions. Contact First Teacher if you would like to host a Zoom activity.

First Teacher is a service of the nonprofit Parenting Matters Foundation.

Law is an important service to the health of our community. Parenting is even more important.